Turmoil Beneath (09/06)

Confusion,
curiousity,
concern,
clouds galore,

I don't know,
insane,
can't figure out,
whats going on,

I ask questions,
I step back,
it all eats,
away inside,

Why am I so worried?
why am I so concerned?
why am I so curious,
why am I like this!?

I can't change,
I have tried and failed,
I shall always be,
a pathetic fool,

Get out of my head!
you voice of concience,
allow me to be,
hard as stone!

Why can't I let it go?
why must I care!
why am I like this?
what is wrong with me,

Empathy,
for some hell is fire,
for me,
its being me,

Put on the mask,
again and again,
disguise myself,
hide,

Bury my emotions,
let the turmoil lay,
unseen,
but boiling like magma,

Once again,
I call on you,
chameleon,
give me the strength I need,

Let my questions be unanswered,
let my concern be tossed,
let it seem,
like I don't care!

Need an Outlet (09/06)

Anger,
welling up inside me,
despair,
sinking deeper within,

An ideal world,
has no such problems,
an ideal world,
is not what I live in,

Need an outlet,
what?
where?
cannot find,

Rage does not subside,
accumulated deposits,
blood beckons,
hands tingle,

Blood on walls,
a way to calm,
should I?
need I?

Need an out,
brain on fire,
nicotine no help,
reddening vision,

Despair,
anger,
pain,
rage,

Need an outlet,
what?
where?
HOW?